I’m not going to lie, I’ve been feeling this way for quite some time now.
It’s hard to shake these feelings of vulnerability when you’re in such a fragile state. When one thing can set you off completely, therefore you’re constantly watching what you say or do.
I’ve been like this for years, but I have always pushed it aside.
I honestly believed that loving some one so much and being in a relationship could solve 95% of my problems. If anything, being in a relationship has made my issues worse.
The way I look at myself, the way I look at food, the way I am constantly comparing myself to someone else. He could date her, instead.
The idea of not feeling good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, creative enough, etc.
I’m sorry, I’m rambling.
Anonymous asked: Did he know it was your first time?
Yup! We were very open with each other when we first started dating. I had nothing to hide.
Anonymous asked: What was your first time like?
My first time was not what I expected. I feel like society/movies has made us to believe that your first time has to be so special, and that you’ll feel like a whole new person afterwards. Mine was not like that.
I don’t remember what happened exactly, but all I know is that it felt right. It felt too good to be true, like it was meant to be. I am happy I gave it to my boyfriend, and I have no regrets.
I remember it hurt a lot- I bled. I remember how insecure I felt (I wouldn’t take off my shirt). But, I’m glad it happened when it did.
This was an awful response and I’m sorry. Mainly because I am on percocet right now.